Usain Bolt is in DANJA GURL
Usain Bolt is currently in Scotland to compete in the Commonwealth Games, and he better ensure he is driving to and from the venues in a car inside a car inside a car that is bullet proof; because Usain made the grave mistake of insulting the Scottish today.
According to The Times, Usain was caught calling the Commonwealth Games “A bit shit” and saying that the “Olympics were better” and that he was “not really” having fun, which would come as no surprise since he’s basically irked all responsibility to show face at anything at the Games since he arrived. Usain probably didn’t get the memo that the Commonwealth Games has 5% of the budget of the Olympic Games, or that saying something bad about Scotland when actually in Scotland puts life expectancy somewhere in the “Have had sex with Paris Hilton” and “Recently in contact with Ebola” range.
Bolt has of course denied denied denied that he’s an ungrateful son of a bitch, because he knows he will be lynched with Irn Bru bottles on the track if he doesn’t eat some humble pie pronto. That big terrifying fucking thistle mascot is probably going to creep into Usain’s room tonight and rub its prickly thistle head against his chest so he gets a rash. Seriously though, that mascot is the hottest cracked out mascot I have ever seen. It kind of looks like something you would get if you fed a toddler a baggy of coke, showed them what hash looks like and then gave them a pencil. Which actually doesn’t seem to have been too far off the truth.