If you don’t live in the UK and have a fetish for terrible property shows in your pyjamas like I do, then you probably don’t know the elegant, subtle, monocle dropper that is Celia Sawyer. Celia is, and I quote from her totally neutral Wikipedia page, “a self made multi-millionairess” from her interior design ventures. She’s been on Channel 4’s “Four Rooms” and more recently the TV makeover porn that is “Your Home in Their Hands” . What makes Celia special is not her notable wealth or work ethic, it’s that Celia, who NATURALLY creates “high end luxury interiors” for really rich people, looks like a fresh English spring morning covered in soft and gorgeous dew. If you can kindly lift the mug you dropped in shock and awe for the most regally subtle cast member of Footballer’s Wives woman you’ve seen in your life, then I can tell you that Celia is not just special for her ravishing figure, tangerine skin and divine 100% natural yak hair, but as you can probably read from above, she is also a retiring and modest angel. Celia has her feet firmly on the ground – pretty helpful because her feet are always clad in 100% environmentally evil plastic heels which make her already statuesque body tower above the peons that don’t know a retro hipster chic kitchen when they see one. Episode after episode, she arrives in stunning patent leather dresses, gorgeous silk blouses and where-did-she-get-that £12.50 Zara bargain bin boob tubes. The best think about Celia is not that she clearly attended Her Highness Zoe Lucker’s Academy of Expensive Dressing, but it is the complete apathy she treats everyone with.. Your Home in Their Hands is effectively a show where BBC ask you if your kitchen has been redecorated in the last sixty years, and if the answer...
So for those of you still watching, Revenge ended its third season last night in America. Was it as good as “It’s me, Jack. I’m Amanda!!!” ? Well yes actually, and probably better. Revenge not only has impressed in recent weeks by path-correcting a diabolical seven episode stretch, but in this finale it has now hit reset on the entire show’s concept as a whole. The episode not only changed everything you know about the show, but it also gave viewers the resolution we’ve all been after since the first episode of the show. This begs the question….what’s next? Suffice to say, epic levels of spoilers ahead.
Across UK this morning, tens of millions of viewers tuned in (but not really though) to sample ITV’s last chance saloon at getting Breakfast television right before they eventually start showing ten-hour omnibuses of Jeremy Kyle instead. Enter GOOD MORNING BRITAIN, Where ludicrously well paid BBC deserter Susanna Reid replaces ludicrously well paid BBC deserters Christine Bleakley and Adrian Chiles, and significantly less well paid Aled Jones and the under-rated Kate Garraway. Joining Susanna is two Sky News deserters – Charlotte Hawkins, for the teenage male quota, and Sean Fletcher because he’s a bloke who reads the sports, innit. And finally good old Ben Shepherd, because ITV realized they couldn’t have an entire panel made up of talent they nicked from other channels. The big revelation about all of this is that I did not actually hate it. I sort of quite liked it.
evenge, Season 3 to date has been consistently a step up from it’s all-over-the-map second season, but suddenly it looks like the clear mission to right the wrongs of it becoming a budget version of Batman is starting to slip off the rails. The entire episode kind of revolves around what Revenge is at its very weakest with – boring supporting characters. Any network drama seems to be littered with these stock waifs and handsome deadweights – actors with uninspired writing and even less inspiring delivery who appear to do nothing but prolong the shelf-life of our favourite shows by keeping the “good stuff” padded out across 22 episodes.
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