Tulisa’s new face will not go to jail!

Tulisa’s new face will not go to jail!

Tulisa Constantinopleoisises, also known as the only X-Factor UK  judge to be more rubbish somehow than Nicole Scherzinger, was released from court today with all charges dropped after the judge decided that the witnesses were lying.

Tulisa was on trial after a newspaper reporter pretended to be a big Arab sheikh who promised her a $12 million starring film role in a Leo DiCaprio movie if she could sort him out with some charlie. One would generally wonder how a C-list singer from the United Kingdom failed to really consider the likelihood of being offered a Julia Roberts size salary to star in an A-List picture, but alas. Tulisa bought that shit up and so she charged the reporter for a baggy of coke.

Mazher Mahmood, the reporter for The Sun was deemed to be giving “inconsistent evidence” and apparently the Judge suspected he had coerced his driver to give two different statements. When this proved to be so he had no option but to throw the case out.

The real story here is not that Tulisa isn’t going to jail for dealing drugs, it’s that Tulisa’s stunning new Jodie Marsh face will live in the public eye for another day.

Tulisa Before and After Surgery

Tulisa used to look like a regular human person, but since Kim Kardashian came on the scene every female celebrity is now endeavouring to look as much like a blow up sex doll in human form as is physically possible – so as with most societal problems we can probably just blame the Kardashians again. And as for her gently morphing into Jodie Marsh? Well which girl didn’t grow up wanting to look like Jodie Marsh?

 

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