Tom Cruise and Adam Sandler whipped by a Zebra
Since Hollywood execs sit around a blackberry staring for quarter hourly updates on a Friday and Saturday whilst snorting more lines than Columbia can actually produce, it comes as surprise that you can basically find out who’s going to be #1 at the box office on Monday morning by like 2pm on a Friday. Anuses gradually relax gently over the course of a Friday in LA, and if your John Travolta, you’ve had a head start.
Speaking of relaxed anuses, Tom Cruise might not be jumping on any sofas with joy as his latest movie “Rock of Ages” has opened soft with a third place start and relatively iffy numbers – expecting to gross at best $16 Million for the weekend.
This means that last weekends “Madagascar 3: More annoying fucking Chris Rock noises that your toddler will subject you to for the next year” maintains the #1 spot and is expected to gross $33 Million for the weekend and cross $100 Million.
We can’t really laugh at Tom though because no one even knew Tom Cruise was actually in this movie. Kind of like if a romantic comedy flops, no one blames Patrick Dempsey, it’s always the woman’s fault. As Catherine Zeta Jones had a quick cameo in this film we can fairly say it’s all her fault. In all seriousness though, the films marketing might have well said “Rock of Ages, starring NO ONE AT ALL” because the marketing effectively sidelined the starcast to play up, uh, obscure scenes of a rocky nature?
Elsewhere in the market is the nail in the coffin of Adam Sandler’s incredible ability to release diverse and exciting new projects each year that are totally unique and different from the movies hes released the year before. Adam Sandler is 45 now, believe it or not. Yet he still wears a backwards cap. “Thats My Boy” is pegged for around $14 Million.
UPDATE: Elswhere, “Snow White and The Charlize Theron Show” will top $120 Million over the weekend and looks set to gross north of $150 Million when all is said and done. This will mean combined with Prometheus, Theron is in for two $100 Million+ hits released with her name billed over the course of a fortnight. Theron and Sandra Bullock are now considered two of Hollywood’s top bankable actresses, but five or six years ago they were considered box office poison for a period.
The Hongray Ippo Games also hit a bit landmark and crossed $400 Million in the US alone Thursday, placing it 14th on the all time domestic chart behind Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, which it should outgross before leaving theatres. Pic will finish north of $650 Million worldwide, but sequels should perform far better overseas. Comparatively, the first Twilight pic grossed just under $400 Million globally.