Internationally respected philosopher, box office analyst and visionary Megan Fox was right again. She recently foretold that audiences would flock to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because they were dumb enough to also go see Transformers 4. (Before pulling that classic Audrey Hepburn elegance trick of telling her audience to “fuck off” if they hate the film).
Megan’s solid logic and Nostradamus brain turned out to be 100% right as per usual. Despite horrible reviews and poor response, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles opened on top of the box office on Friday night.
TMNT is currently on track to open to around $62-65 Million after a very strong Friday night of teenage boys with erections.
When a rational adult sees a movie poster featuring Megan Fox they generally perceive the movie as being “bad”, “poorly plotted” and “probably as fun as throwing acid on my dick”. But when teenage boys see Megan Fox on a movie poster they see “BONER!”, “AWESOME” and “BONER!”.
The fact that the turtles all look like giant talking versions of various post vodka and gin shits i’ve had over the years are kind of a turn-off for me, because no one wants to be reminded of the time you woke up in a stranger’s apartment and had to take a post-booze poo or you’d crap yourself on the tube home. No one.
In other box office news. Guardians of the Galaxy continues to play well and is going to be off around 55% to $42.5ish million.
The budget version of Twister without any of the flying cows known as Into the Storm also bested expectations and is set for around $17.5 Million this weekend.
Finally, The Hundred Foot Journey also bested expectations significantly in what is shaping up to be a strong August. The Lasse Hallstrom helmed pic is in tune for $11.5 Million for it’s bow and with a “A” cinemascore and little eating into it’s audience in coming weeks, expect this to top as much as $50 Million+ long term.
In related news, Disney recently announced a record quarter thanks to Maleficient,Captain America 2 and Frozen. Frozen has shifted over $250 Million worth of DVD and Blu Ray sales in the US alone in it’s 11 weeks of release.
TOP TEN BOX OFFICE PROJECTIONS from Deadline Hollywood.
1). Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (PAR), 3,845 theaters / $25.7M Friday (includes $4.6M late nights) / 3-day est. cume: $64.5M to $65.1M+ / Wk 1
2). Guardians of the Galaxy (DIS), 4,088 theaters (+8) / $12.3M Fri. / 3-day cume: $42M+ (-55%) / Total cume: $177M / Wk 2
3). Into The Storm (WB), 3,434 theaters / $6.4M Fri. (includes $800K late nights) / 3-day cume: $17.7M to $18.1M / Wk 1
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