The Queen has the shits.
IMAGE: The Queen of the shits, Kate Winslet.
In a TOP STORY ON BBC NEWS, The Queen is in hospital as a “precaution” after she contracted gastroenteritis. Translation: THE QUEEN TOTALLY HAS THE SHITTY SHIT SHITS.
Gastroenteritis is no joke. I can’t tell you how many hours i spent literally stationed next to the toilet when I had that shit. But if id gone to hospital they would have LAUGH LAUGH LAUGHED me home as i gently dribbled poop down my leg. However, I am not an 86 year old woman, so the queen will be totally hooked up to a gold plated drip that feeds her system with the best kind of saline available.
The queen will not be going to Rome this week, as she’s too busy literally shitting her insides out. A likely excuse, I think the Queen just didn’t want to deal with any pope-y drama right now. She’s doing this to Rome.