Taylor Swift has a new song about Harry Styles

Taylor Swift has a new song about Harry Styles

Taylor Swift has made an entire career of being this generation’s Carly Simon, and by that I mean Taylor Swift bones famous people, writes songs about them, then never ever tells who it’s about, aside from setting up a huge flashing light above the song with the name of the person that it’s about.

Now that dating Jake Gyllenhaal for four seconds finally dried up in terms of “I’m cutting myself because you broke me when you passed me in a crowded hall” material, Tay Tay has moved on to using her former partner in bearding Harry Styles to write long love songs about.

Im not saying that this song isn’t actually about Harry Styles but Tay Tay is using him to make money..but this song is probably not about Harry Styles and she’s using him to make money.

MEDIA PLAYER EMBEDDED SONG REMOVED AT REQUEST OF BPI / TAYLOR SWIFT.

Song: “Out of the Woods” by Taylor Swift | Album: 1989 – Buy this song on iTunes now.

This seriously sounds like something that got cut from Pat Benetar’s last album, which is both a compliment and I guess is the vibe she’s going for with this record.

It’s funny because I figured being an international pop star touring the world whilst churning out albums once every 18-20 months, that Taylor Swift may not have had time to actually date enough to make a whole new album about failed romances, especially given she’s spent almost all of her adult life in this situation.

But it looks like she’s now taking handshakes from strangers on board as romantic engagements and writing songs about it. If you sneeze near Taylor Swift bitch will write about it in a song about how it was cold outside and you sneezed and smiled at her and it made her heart fall apart in 195 different ways. If you fart near Taylor Swift she will write a song about how goofy and immature you were but how she was going to make you a better man (real life interaction: nil), if you bukkake Taylor Swift she will write a song about how you kissed her in the rain. (White Rain by Taylor Swift coming to a store near you)

I am not lying when I say I will be the first ho in line to buy Taylor Swift’s song about bukkake.

 

 

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