Tori Spelling in the early 90’s was the original role-model for nepotism in media. She literally had the talent of an egg and yet was pretty much everywhere. And now, over twenty years later, Tori Spelling is still blazing trails as the original role-model for ‘shamelessly hustling for every last dime when the whole ‘nepotism’ thing stops”. EW reports that Tori is now the face for that extremely well-known and super-chic brand “Psychic Source”. In case it’s not clear, that means Tori is now the face for a dial up psychic hotline. And I think that the Psychic Source might have a few legal issues on it’s hands for the lie-telling fuckery that is going on in Tori’s debut ad. In it, an absolutely ravishing Spelling reads “I’m Tori Spelling, Wife, Mother, Actress” Which i suspect is a redraft from a more honest version which read: “I’m Tori Spelling, Shameless, Opportunist, Preying Mantis”. Tori is obviously the Source spokesperson because she 1000% believes that Psychic Source will help you find the answers and insights you need to truly find a happier you. She’s definitely not just there to help pay off that $38,000 debt American Express is suing her for. I guess we shouldn’t be mad at Tori Spelling for turning to Psychic Source when staged paparazzi shoots and reality shows turned their back on her; whats a literally shame-free girl to do when she needs to make a buck for more un-necessary cosmetic surgery?
Tori Spelling took a break from her busy career of pretending to be upset at her husband for sticking his peen in a non Preying Mantis vagina yesterday, in order to take her kids to the beach. Tori is at this stage basically as big as Britney and Brangelina combined, so it made total sense that the paparazzi would be following this international A+++ lister to the beach to sneak pictures of her and her family sharing private moments. Since no Tori Spelling outing would be complete without something a little terrifying for the eyeballs, Tori covered up most of her face with sunglasses but made sure that the world was able to see her giant cannonball titties. As with all celebrity beach pictures, Tori and her family did a lot of fuck all other than splash around and pretend to not know the cameras were there. Dean was there too but was busy surfing. And by surfing I mean looking for any other poon to hit than his wife’s. You have to feel a little bit sorry for Tori Spelling and her general life, but as long as you do it from a safe distance as when she readies her legs she can jump anywhere from 40-45 feet according to Encyclopedia Britannica.
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