Tag Archives: Scandal

Tulisa’s new face will not go to jail!

Tulisa Constantinopleoisises, also known as the only X-Factor UK  judge to be more rubbish somehow than Nicole Scherzinger, was released from court today with all charges dropped after the judge decided that the witnesses were lying. Tulisa was on trial after a newspaper reporter pretended to be a big Arab sheikh who promised her a $12 million starring film role in a Leo DiCaprio movie if she could sort him out with some charlie. One would generally wonder how a C-list singer from the United Kingdom failed to really consider the likelihood of being offered a Julia Roberts size salary to star in an A-List picture, but alas. Tulisa bought that shit up and so she charged the reporter for a baggy of coke. Mazher Mahmood, the reporter for The Sun was deemed to be giving “inconsistent evidence” and apparently the Judge suspected he had coerced his driver to give two different statements. When this proved to be so he had no option but to throw the case out. The real story here is not that Tulisa isn’t going to jail for dealing drugs, it’s that Tulisa’s stunning new Jodie Marsh face will live in the public eye for another day. Tulisa used to look like a regular human person, but since Kim Kardashian came on the scene every female celebrity is now endeavouring to look as much like a blow up sex doll in human form as is physically possible – so as with most societal problems we can probably just blame the Kardashians again. And as for her gently morphing into Jodie Marsh? Well which girl didn’t grow up wanting to look like Jodie Marsh?  
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Brit Brit without Autotune

So Britney Spears is widely considered to be the foremost vocalist of a generation, widely called upon for her acapella abilities and soulful renditions,  Spears has developed a far-reaching reputation as the most respected live vocalist of her era. Which is why the world is SHOCKED and APPALLED to learn that not only is Britney Spears not singing live, but in fact she relies heavily of vocal processing to make her voice passable. The internets are losing their shit that Britney has apparently gotten away with being so tone deaf for so many years and now in an ESCALANDO leak she appears to have the musicality of your ten-bottles-in aunt at Christmas on your cousins broke ass plastic Karaoke machine. Thoughts on this are yes, Brit Brit sounds horrible, but William Orbit has jumped to her defence and said that this was a warm up, not the final recording of Britney. When singers are not used to the tracks they are recording, they will trial it out to get a feel for the pitch and tone, which is probably a good thing because “pitch” and “tone” are not things that Brit is registering on this. William said the world should be ashamed for trying to make Brit look bad by leaking these unfinished test vocals. That’s all fine and well and shit, but you know i nailed Alien better than this in the shower this morning (no shame) and I don’t get paid $300,000 a night to do this professionally. I have to add though that something in the water aint quite right about the sample. It sounds like that shit has been autotuned at the start to make Brit sound even worse. And I guess the world can also turn to the various pieces of evidence out there that Britney can sing  and...
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Solange Knowles attacks Jay-Z in front of Beyonce.

If you’re wondering why the look on Jay-Z’s face in the picture above is familiar, it’s because that’s the look you have on your face when you have a demon unleashed on your ass and you are truly whipped. I guess Beyonce has cut Solange’s allowance, because at the fancy Met Gala event where Solange was allowed out to play she struck back at her benefactors by slicing Jay Z in the ALL OVER with fist bumps to the face, heel pumps to the crotch and general Not-Having-It-McDonalds style fighting. This video shows Solange, Beyonce and Jay-Z shimming on into the elevator at the Met Gala where Solange, with immediate effect, starts literally raining down a pocketful of Chris Brown on Jay-Z whilst Beyonce stands by as if shit isn’t even happening. The worst thing is this shit goes on and on. It doesn’t stop. Solange is one fierce bitch and she is not interested in Jay’s bodyguard trying to subdue her, which is probably a good thing because Beyonce sure as shit makes roughly zero attempt to stop the fight. I swear Beyonce might as well have popped out her phone and sent a tweet about how she was loving the Met Gala. There’s always been loads of rumours about how Beyonce’s ‘Second Coming of Oprah’ life is not really anything like that at all, that she is a huge bitch and how she stands by and watches whilst bitches in her life fight all around her. There’s also been rumour after rumour that Jay-Z is sticking his peen in other poons. That shit would not surprise me, because the uggos in life get all the play if they have money and power. Still, Solange should know that Chris Browning is NEVER the answer. Even if your sister’s husband...
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Peaches Geldof died of a heroin overdose

Peaches Geldof died of a heroin overdose according to The Times. Geldof had a reported history with the drug which her publicist deeply disputed at the time when tales of a sordid affair were released on Reddit by a user with photographic evidence.  However, if the Times is correct then it would appear to confirm that Geldof had a long-term relationship with the drug. In the months leading up to her death, Peaches reached the tipping point where skinny obsessed celebrity culture decided she had crossed from the glamour of “Unhealthily thin” to the seemingly undesirable “Dangerously so” after having already lost substantial amounts of her previous curvier figure. The news mirrors the tragedy of her own mothers death – Paula Yates had an accidental heroin overdose in 2000. Yet oddly, no drug paraphernalia was discovered near her body; and it remains unclear who supplied her with drugs. Whilst her husband was out of the house with Astala, their 23 month old son – Peaches was caring for other son Phaedra at the time of her death and was discovered by a friend after her husband had trouble getting through to her. Geldof had spoken of how motherhood had been a healing and transformative process for her, which had removed the ‘chaos’ from her life.
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Britney Spears’ last album wasn’t all sung by Britney Spears

The practice of big artists beefing up their vocals on tracks with a veritable chorus of backing singers is not a new one. Almost every major recording artist is guilty of this to varying degrees, and one who’s always been a notable adopter of softening her…distinctive vocal style with a symphony of other voices is Brit Brit. After the debacle of her last album’s release cleared – that being intense fan dissatisfaction, questions over authenticity of vocals, outrage at poor autotuning et all – one of the remaining questions swirled around backing singer Myah Marie. Marie has made a name for herself in recent years as a backing vocalist for Britney essentially because she sounds exactly like her. For Britney fans, mentioning Myah Marie’s name is like hitting a giant RAGE button to unleash this.
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Bryan Singer accused of sexual abuse

So in ‘News I’d rather avoid with a ten foot barge pole so I’m going to leave it to someone else’ news, Hollywood director and mogul Bryan Singer has been accused of raping and sexually abusing a then-minor as part of a Hollywood drug and sex ring run by a convicted paedophile according to the Hollywood Reporter. The man could be innocent. The man could be guilty. Ultimately, the grand jury of blogs will decide, but this one in particular will not get involved with that mess until substantial damning evidence to support either side comes out. These legal cases are so fucking messy. On one hand you could have Singer levying his power and pointing the finger of fame-whore at the accuser either because its either true or because it’s his best and only defence, which is kind of exactly what is happening right now, and on the other hand you have Michael F. Egan , a man of no notable name trying to leverage publicity either for personal gain or to utilize so his case is heard against a Hollywood titan, which is also exactly what is happening right now. What the truth is? That’s anyone’s guess. What is clear though is that timing is suspiciously close to a new major movie release from Singer, though what is also clear is that as early as 2007 Radar Online documented Bryan Singer’s close ties with the head of the paedophile ring in question – Marc Collins-Rector, with many details of what happened in the Collins-Rector case mirroring the accusations now being levied against Singer. Easy enough to formulate a fake case if you’ve read the Radar article, but also easy enough to be one of the victims of Collins Rector and now have trouble having the world believe you because your up against a well-loved director. It...
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