Tag Archives: Scandal

Ke$ha is suing Dr Luke for sexual assault and some other nasty shit.

When Ke$ha went into rehab for an eating disorder around the time she scored a billboard and worldwide #1 hit, everyone knew shit must have been serious. After she came back out Ke$ha has taken on the position of role model for girls who have struggled with body image with aplomb, writing a number of insightful articles about her condition and the way the the music industry made her feel even less worthy. Around that time a lot of shade was thrown the way of her mentor and manager Dr Luke who it was claimed made her feel like a big fatty fat fat. Dr Luke denied that shit at the time, but now Ke$ha is going for his jugular by suing his ass for Ike Turnering her. She’s accusing him of not only verbal abuse, but sexual and mental abuse during her time working with him. TMZ reports that Kesha was Forced to snort “something” before getting on a plane, at which stage Dr Luke forced his disgusting ass on her whilst she was high. Forced to drink with Dr. Luke, whom gave her what he called “sober pills”. Ke$ha said she then woke up the next afternoon naked in Dr.Luke’s bed feeling sore, sick and having zero fucking idea how she got there. Physically assaulted by Dr Luke. One time he attacked her in Malibu where she escaped and ran barefoot into the mountains to hide. Ke$ha said the abuse lead to her eating disorder, and added that Dr.Luke said “You are not that pretty, you are not that talented, you are just lucky to have me.” and as formerly stated called her a “fat fucking refrigerator” Who fucking knew Ke$ha was in a real life version of “Misery”?  I always knew Dr.Luke was a shady fuck because that dude...
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Nice Try, Denise Richards

So as you may well know every glimpse of celebrity fanny under the age of 30 is now available for you to download from 4Chan.org.  Since the list of leaked stars were best described as a mixture of the words “relevant”, “young” and “sexy”, you’d be forgiven for raising an eyebrow and uttering the words “But where’s Hollywood’s hottest starlet and heavily in-demand super A-Lister Denise Richards?!” Because Denise Richards is definitely still very very hot and super busy, she took time from her CAH-RAY-ZAY schedule of filming multiple mega hit blockbusters and smash hit cds to tell the world that the reason the name “Denise Richards” isn’t on the list is because you have to get up pretttty early in the morning to catch out Denise Richards.     Nigerian bank scammers don’t even bother sending Denise Richards emails any more, because her razor sharp understanding of scams, phishing schemes and hackers means that the NSA itself wants her as their own version of “Medium”. Denise knew that emails asking for her password with the ultimatum of shutting her accounts down sounded a little bit suspicious, firstly because the emails were written all in fuschia comic sans, secondly because the emails all said they were from “F8cebook” and thirdly because she’s pretty sure that the guy in the pictures with his penis out wasn’t Mark Zuckerberg . I guess we can all rest easy that we have Denise Richards at the forefront of this hacking scandal. Thanks to her foresight, we will never see Denise Richards’ naked titties. Other than all of the dozens of other times we’ve seen her titties.
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Paul Ross had a gay drug fuelled affair. Blames drugs for the “Gay” part.

Paul Ross has revealed to The Sun (read: The Sun threatened to publish the lover’s tell all so he gave quotes for damage-control)  that he had a six month gay affair behind his wife’s back  (GASP) and they did drugs (GASSP) and he was addicted (GASP!) oh and the other person was a dude (!!!!!!!) Incase you’re wondering who the fuck Paul Ross is, he’s Jonathan Ross’ brother who basically shills himself out to any fronting UK tv quiz shows. He’s become kind of part of the tapestry of the UK tv business, like a second rate cousin of Richard & Judy. Paul has been married to wife Jackie for ten years and has five kids. He said he initially went online to look for sex because he was stressed out financially. Which makes total sense. But LiLo level delusion and lies doesn’t stop here. Paul met up with Barry Oliver, a former English teacher, at a local dogging spot. Somehow we’ve jumped from “being stressed out and going online to look for sex” to “meeting a male man to have sex with in a dogging spot”. It was obviously love at first fumble in the bushes, because this is when Paul decided to meet up with Barry regularly for sexytimes. It was also Barry who introduced Paul’s precious naive self to Mephedrone or Meow Meow. To say that Paul was into Meow Meow would be an understatement. That bitch snorted Meow Meow from every fucking surface up to six times a day. If Paul saw a horizontal plane he’d look at it and think “that’d look better with meow meow being snorted off of it”. At his drug addiction peak, Paul even snorted it from Barry’s face. He said  ‘I was on telly in the Eighties and drugs were all around and I never...
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Nothing like cheating to short circuit Britney.

It started out as any other night behind the scenes at Piece of Me at the AXIS, Planet Hollywood. The dancers were spritzing down their faces as they hung out of their skin-tight outfits, enjoying the final moments of release before they’d have to suck in for the next hour and a half. Business managers paced back and forward, staring intently into their iPhones as they awaited confirmation that every seat was filled.  Screaming fans bustled outside whilst hairdressers moved wigs that honest-to-god could be made of nylon into another room. The lighting tech team made final adjustments to the programming, and somewhere, lost in the bustle of that madness, Britney Spears sat in a dark corner whilst her own evening’s programming downloaded into her brain. It took team Britney half an hour before they suddenly realized that something was amiss.  Instead of giggling and coyly suggesting that the audience was “Really hot” (Or any such bland pre-programmed variant) when she lined up an overly excited audience member for participation in the next number, Brit Brit’s broken heart appeared to beat out her standard subroutines as she veered dangerously close to appearing human. If Britney continues like this, we may see an interview in which she reveals more than just her love for vanilla candles at some stage in the future. Im glad that Brit Brit is going with the whole “Empowered / Angry” thing rather than the “Eat ten tubs of Ben & Jerry’s and end up looking like a manatee” thing. Like, I’ve definitely never done that second thing. Nope.  
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Calvin Harris isn’t here for Rita Ora.

The Lidl version of Rihanna (who in herself is at best an ASDA version of Beyonce) known as Rita Ora has recently been mouthing off about how upset she was that her ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris stopped her from performing the song he wrote and produced for her. Rita was due to perform “I Will Never Let you Down” at the esteemed event for all huge iconic music moments known as the Teen Choice Awards this year, but instead she sung “I Will Definitely Actually Be Letting You Down” to herself in her seat and didn’t perform shit as she watched Ariana Grande’s bobblehead jiggle around the stage. According to Rita,  Calvin said “No thanks”  to the producers when they asked for his approval to have the song performed. “I was supposed to perform, and for anyone that doesn’t understand how it works, he wrote and produced the song — I mean, he’s an incredible songwriter, never going to disregard his talents, he’s incredible,” Rita said. “So [Harris] has to approve anything TV-wise, for anybody that doesn’t get it…so he has to approve the rights to [use the song] and he didn’t approve the Teen Choice Awards.” Of course, when asked if she was upset Rita admitted that she was upset not for her billboard positions, but rather for her ‘fans’. “Yeah, I’m not gong to lie, but not for my own selfish reasons, but for my fans…Because the show was going to be awesome…[but] everything happens for a reason, that’s how I look at it.” Calvin didn’t heed the warnings of Rob Kardashian (!) who told everyone that  Rita Ora has a vagina that accepts all potential platinum records as payment for bare-peen entry, and so decided to hit it with Rita for a while. I guess Calvin is kind of one of those “If everyone else is doing it” sort of...
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Jay-Zzz and Thiefonce are an arranged marriage says PageSix

If you are standing up, sit down. If you are sitting down, put down any hot beverages. If you are sleeping, wake up but ensure you are surrounded by the cushions of Lisa Rinna’s pillow lips because PageSix has some SHOCKING and SCANDALOUS new information about Jay-Z and Beyonce’s marriage that will almost certainly make you pass out, stop all current wars due to weeping and shaking soldiers and probably cease the production of all questionable lace-front weaves forever. PageSix (Six is the number of the DEVIL for this dark-sided smear story) claims that Beyonce and Jay-Z aren’t really the true life version of Belle and the Beast and that Solange isn’t really Mrs Potts.   PageSix say Bey and Jay are only together for mutual business and nothing more. The source claims that their romance started out all one-sided, with Jay-Z being obsessed with Beyonce but Beyonce being like “Why dis ugly dude keep calling me?”. Because Beyonce was raised in the House of Ruthless Ambition Dereon, the Knowles’ quickly recognized that Jay-Z would be mutually beneficial to Thiefonce’s career in swagger-jacking from artists and other celebrities. It was a master stroke of marketing: She gave him class, he gave her cred. Jay Z was infatuated with Beyoncé, says the source, but the bottom line was business; he knew he could do big things for her, and together they could be a juggernaut. For Beyoncé, however, it was a slower burn. According to an interview with the website Celebuzz, her uncle Larry Beyince said that initially his niece had no interest. “He was after her and she wasn’t,” Beyince said. “She told me she wasn’t too fond of him … I guess she wasn’t attracted to him.” The source goes on to say that Beyonce was only interested in Jay for his savvy business-mind, because...
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