Tag Archives: Nicki Minaj

2012’s Most Powerful Popstars

It’s almost the end of 2012 (not really) but it IS the time where people totally ignore the fact we have two calendar months left before both A. Artists stop selling albums that qualify as being part of the year  and B. The world ends because its the Kardashians will finally reveal their devious endgame as the rapture opens. So it’s clearly time for us to hastenly crown the most influential pop artists of 2012 according to absolutely nobody except me! This list has been waited for by absolutely nobody with baited breath for many seconds. So I won’t keep you any longer. Let’s begin the countdown after the jump…… 10. Nicki Minaj Well this big tittied troll should be no surprise to anyone really as she’s been on every single record in 2012 released. Nicki did what any good popstar needs to do to sell records, she got her newly fake tits out at every single possible occasion and also completely sold out. Starships is not just complete pop, it’s complete pop eurotrash club nonsense, and it’s kind of fun anyway. For chart domination worldwide and branding herself as a dysfunctional human Barbie with an acid tongue we have to give Nicki some props. 9. Adam Levine Adam Levine may be annoying a dumb douche. But we’d all still hit it repeatedly from every direction. As the helmer of Maroon 5, Adam smartly embraced his obvious ego by joining a talent show as a judge, and in the process has managed to keep his music top-of-mind with the record buying public.  Get this, Maroon 5 have been in the mainstream scene for 10 years now. TEN YEARS. How fucking old does that make you feel? Their brand of U2-Lite pop-rock that sells to largely teenage audiences has continued to stay relevant long past...
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Nicki Minaj and Mimi will make American Idol watchable.

Remember when Mariah Carey signed up to American Idol and hit the roof when her former collaborator Whatever A Nicki Minaj Is was also signed to the table? Remember how you thought “Probably, but there is no substantial evidence to support this story which is right up there with PPI claims in a list of things I give a fuck about” Well care not no more, because Mimi and Minajare doing a service to science and proving that you can’t mix Butterfly farts with the vapours of Peroxide and Silicone! Unfortunately your browser does not support IFrames. During auditions for American Snoredol Season 93 Jennifer Lopez texted The Creature Known As Nicki Minaj to say that Mimi has been telling everyone that her ass looks like a Khloe Kardashian stuffed into an ankle sock. Not really, but whatever went down set Nicki off to the moon and back. Nicki’s helium pornstar voice delivered such gems as “Off with your head” and called Mooms “Your fucking highness” before also deeming her “boring as fuck” in a rant which had Mimi calling her a 3 year old baby.  Sure Mimi is mother superior now she’s been lounging on the HSN for a while, and whilst there’s no doubt that Moomz is giving Nicki the side eye like she’s a virgin lettuce salad or a piece of steamed tofu, Moomz walks away with 1-0 on this one. This fight is kind of like a girlfriend on a period going off on her boyfriend for flirting with the waitress while he has two single fucks to give. Nicki is probably sore in the crotch that she’s cashing in $10 Million less than Moomz for sitting on her cottage cheese ass and telling people they can’t sing whilst she herself is about as much of a singer as...
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