Remember that rumour that Moomz went deaf from too much SoulCycle (she lost a lot of weight and then didn’t release any music – and if you know one thing about Mariah Carey it is that she will drop 30lbs for a music video and a music video ALONE) well if this video of Moomi on the Today show is anything to go by, that rumour was true and she’s still as deaf as that adorable deaf pug. Except that adorable deaf pug can now sing better than Mariah Carey. She sounds like she’s channelling the crack voice of Whitney Houston here, which would be an accurate parallel for vocal degradation. Mariah cares so much about nailing this track (but not really) that she forgets the words at 1.55 and makes up the line “I don’t know the words to my own song and I don’t care.” and she stops mid-song to direct a cameraman to “get a good angle”. (Side shot of team of 100 bringing in Mariah’s specially designed Kino Flos) Moomz then goes on to start opening her mouth and acting like notes were coming out, but they weren’t (2:38). Turns out those notes were the high notes she can no longer hit that were digitally added by NBC when it went live because Moomz didn’t want a repeat disaster of her last year’s GMA caterwauling. I don’t know why this delusional butterfly empress keeps going into the studio and hitting “RECORD” on the dolphin register if she knows she can’t hit those notes anymore. Bitch needs to know no-one really likes hearing her sounding like a sea mammal in distress anyway. In addition to being deluded about her voice, the Mariah Carey that was on that Today Show stage was giving shades of HARPO, WHO DIS WOMAN? at the “I AM. MARIAH. THE...
Here’s brit brit walking her boyfriend like a dog on stage at her new Vegas concert at new year to say HAPPY NEW YEAR (and also to say – know your fucking place, Basic Dave) Brit has impressed critics by not walking around stage like a catatonic meth addict hooker from Grand Theft Auto as with her previous tour. That said, it’s not like shes 21 any more and that shit shows. But still, Brit Brit’s show is winning people over with her actually dancing again, because that’s the only fucking justification for spending $300 to go see someone not sing a single live note for two hours. Theres room for improvement, but it’s good to see that Brit Brit is not sliding further down the deeply upsetting chute of career destruction that was the Femme Fatale Tour.
LA Deli is a satire/comedy column. We put a humorous spin on reported news, rumors, speculation, assumptions, opinions as well as factual information, the veracity of which cannot be guaranteed.
We cannot provide any warranty on the validity of what is posted.
Content written by Little Banyan Media 2014. Images property of their rightful owners.