As part of the new refreshed LA Deli I have decided to give you something for your cubicles as you stare day after day at the bare confines of those empty grey walls other than pictures of Ben Affleck from 1997. Well fear no more, my chums. I bring thee The Real Celebrity Quote Poster Series! A series of simple, but effective posters suitable for any workplace with useful life mottos. To get us started, Let’s let Lindsay Lohan take it away with the greatest single quote she’s ever uttered. Download in Printable Size.
Lindsay Lohan’s Christmas Picture somehow….SOMEHOW found its way to TMZ.com who posted it as an exclusive. This card might as well be called FACES OF METH: FAMILY EDITION. It’s like a pan across of disaster. From Alie-aboutmahage Lohan over there on the left with her stuffed sausage lips to fucking Frosty the SnowBitch in the middle wearing dead animals and a shade of blonde that was left in Narnia. OVER THIS.
Stuff that’s better than Lindsay Lohan is an LA Deli exclusive new series, where we post content from other sites that is not about Lindsay Lohan. You see, Lindsay Lohan has had the internet by the balls for a while now, largely because Lindsay Lohan is soley unable to functionally go through a day without calling up paparazzi, appearing in court, or willing that people move traffic cones out of the way because she’s Lindsay Lohan, and that is a traffic cone. Lindsay Lohan’s arch-nemesis As such, I can’t bear to see that attention seeking twat get another words coverage, because it is her nectar, and who really gives a shit anyway? So instead of talking about Lindsay Lohan being a crazy bitch, and yes I can call her a bitch and it be appropriate use of the word I think, here’s a video of a baby elephant being adorable, Awwww ;
Since the incredibly trying and difficult proccess known as House Arrest befell Lindsay Lohan it was only a matter of time until some shit went down. It’s not a day in the life of Lindsay Lohan unless she is taking the law out behind the bike shed and violating it repeatedly. Lindsay had the police round when her house arrest bracelet went off. The po-po showed up and found Lindsay calling her neighbour a murderer. She went on to say she had just watched “An awesome old movie from a really talented director” called Disturbia. Okay this is only half true. Lilo’s anklet did go off, the police did pop round her gaffe and they found her, wait for it, READING SCRIPTS. I’m pretty sure by “scripts” they mean “big booklets of blank paper” because fuck knows that the only scripts Lindsay Lohan will be getting this decade will be the script for her mothers next hourly press release. House Arrest sounds like a fucking dream come true to me. Daytime television? CHECK. Friends who will bring you an infinite supply of junk food? CHECK. Masturbation Hours by the Boatload? CHECK. If any other basic bitch had shoplifted bedazzled jewels WHILST ON PROBATION they would be crying in a prison shower by now. But then again, they don’t have the difficult life of Lindsay Lohan.
LA Deli is a satire/comedy column. We put a humorous spin on reported news, rumors, speculation, assumptions, opinions as well as factual information, the veracity of which cannot be guaranteed.
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