Tagged: Katie Holmes

The Expendables 3 0

Box Office: The Expendables 3 Flops hard

After Megan Fox foretold of box office history when a bunch of animated turds running around Megan Fox for two hours grossed more money than we will all see in our lifetimes, I had half expected her to come forth with her IMPORTANT PREMONITIONS for this...

Katie Holmes is a catholic now. 0

Katie Holmes is a catholic now.

Katie Holmes obviously gives a single shit about her mortality at this stage, because she walked past the convoy of black escalades following her everywhere right into a Catholic Church and came out to scratch each of those fuckers down the side with a rosary....

Katie gets sole custody. 0

Katie gets sole custody.

According to the Daily Mail Katie Holmes waltzed into a boardroom, sat down across from Tom Cruise, and something like the following exchange occured Katie: If you don’t give me sole custody, I’ll tell the world I was bearding.Tom: HA! You can’t do that, contractual...

Katie took a razor to that beard. 0

Katie took a razor to that beard.

Katie Holmes was just a few days ago regarded as one of the finest beards to have ever walked the land. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Katie can kiss goodbye her coveted front-page spread on Beards Weekly’s “Beards of the Year” issue because the editor...

Tom Cruises search for a new wife was a shock, say TMZ 0

Tom Cruises search for a new wife was a shock, say TMZ

According to TMZ, Tom Cruise’s launch of Beard Idol to find his new fembot was a last minute scramble for his agents, because he had no fucking idea that Katie would file for divorce, and she’s going in for Suri in sole custody rights. From TMZ.COM  Katie...

True love is over. 0

True love is over.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have sat down in a boardroom and decided to terminate their contract marriage. Katie had fulfilled five years of her obligations as Tom’s robot bride, and when her contractual negotiations came up Tom decided to tell her that he was going in another...