Tag Archives: fashion disaster

Sharon Stone is now 104.

Sharon Stone recently took a break from flashing her titties like a 24 year old stripper in Paris to take the advice that she was “dressing too young” seriously. Sharon knew that it was time to take of the leather trousers, and so at the Lupus LA event, she debuted an elegant and demure new look which she calls “La femme d’or” or “The Golden Girl”. Sharon Stone wins ALL of the fashion awards this year, and we have her style secrets. How to Get the GOLDEN GIRL look. Headwear: Probably from a Beverley Hills designer boutique store. COST:$500+ Budget Look: Just walk into any retirement home and steal one from a sleeping meemaw. COST: FREE Dress: Probably a unique creation from a fancy designer in Paris. Foo Foo.COST:$2,000+ a feel of a peekaboo titty. Budget Look: Literally get a paper doily from your grans house, find a potato sack, and stitch the doily on the hole you cut at the top. Spraypaint the sack grey.COST: $20, but you’ll also get a sack worth of potatoes, so that’s worth it. Gloves & Bag: It’s hard to imagine that these gloves are anything but the finest dead cow money can buy given that Sharon Stone will physically skin an animal herself if it’ll look good on her.COST: Over $1000 and an evil cackle. Budget Look: Why bother spending thousands of dollars on a bag made of animal skins when you could stand by any roadside and pick up a dead hedgehog. Literally  just wear two dead hedgehogs on your hands, and for a bag, string a little string through a dead bird and use its mouth to store smints etc.COST: $1 For the string. Don’t worry about the blood, because your dress is a potato sack. Et Voila! Now you too look like you’ve...
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Sharon Stone’s dusty peakboo titties saying hello.

Sharon Stone is many things. Demure is not one of those things. Sharon’s nips and snatch are bbfs with the general publics eyeballs. Every time we try to split up with sharons tits and poon they do something romantic to win us back like taking us to gay Paris then peekaboo flashing themselves in the street for a little public place action. Sharon knows that deep down, we are dirty exhibitionist whores and we can’t quit her tatas and nooner. Not a single fuck is given by Sharon that she is a 54 year old mother, and since she’s not exactly being cast in movies Sharon is excelling at her true profession – putting her nipples to work to play hide and seek with the eyes of the world.
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The Does Britney Look Okay? Tour continues.

Britney Spears was once known for shaking her ham-chops for a cheque. Then she was known for walking gently around a stage snapping her fingers for a cheque, but as Britney will tell you she’s just a simple girl, and what’s more simple than sitting your ass down for four hours for a cheque? Enter a $15 Million cheque for X-Factor and all Britney has to do is sit down, but even that shit is proving a problem. Basically, it doesn’t even matter if Britney says anything in the entire run of the X-Factor. Much like her Femme Fatale tour, she turns up, everyone screams with excitement of how she is definitely not dead (allegedly) and more importantly about how good she looks.  I went to see that trainwreck tour and two girls infront of me were harassing security to ask if Brit’s hair extensions looked nice or if they were straight up dog shit and wool. Those Masters in the Art of Fuckery proceeded to tell the girls nothing other than that the gig was a fucking disaster. Slow hand clap for security ruining those girls night, totally the Kate Winslet’s of stage security. Give them a show called Bitchy Bodyguards. So back to the story at hand. If Britney can turn up looking like a functional human being and reading off of something other than a prescripted autocue, then we can throw a little party every day. Since Britney hasn’t actually spoken for herself in a good five years now, it’s kind of a miracle that she’s on this show AND she’s been looking great. Anyone who’s followed any kind of paparazzi magazine or website in the last six years knows that “Britney Spears” and “Looking Great” are about as likely to appear next to each other as “Christina Aguilera” and...
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