Tagged: Chris Martin

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Quelle Surprise: Goopy Paltrow is insufferable.

Because the grass is still green, the sky is still blue, and Avril Lavigne is still mentally 17- it should come as no surprise that Gwyneth Paltrow is still about as much fun as sticking a pin through your peehole. Highly reputable (not really) source RadarOnline...

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Chris Martin might have been banging Alexa Chung

So because celebrity relationships are SERIOUS BUSINESS, we are still talking about the split so shocking that we  should have cut to an audience shot of some guy in a suit picking his nose and eating as he drifted off. Yes, its Gwyneth and Chris Splitsgate Episode...

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Chris Martin and Goopy Paltrow to split

Because being married to Gwneyth Paltrow is like being committed to a dried up riesen who forces you to take a daily enema, the separation announcement that absolutely nobody saw coming  (read: even fucking water bears saw this coming)  has finally dropped where Goopy decided...