Tag Archives: Calvin Harris

Calvin Harris’ new music video is the opposite of groundbreaking.

Because Calvin Harris wants to get laid, he’s been hitting the gym, dumping his STD’s and is now posing moodily all throughout a music video which says “If you want to be my girlfriend, be a size 4 and never speak to me ever” In this video, Calvin decided to let the world know how he feels about women by ensuring that they are treated like pieces of sex meat during an unwieldy 4 Minutes 16 seconds of probably-gay singer John Newman sitting in the shadows (because he’s not Calvin Harris!) whilst Calvin Harris literally broods throughout and women drape themselves all over his indifferent self, lucky to be basking in the light of money and the smell of St Tropez tan. Of course it is never mentioned that any/all of the women in the video are realistically far too attractive to be in the same frame with either of the men on-screen, but naturally reductive superficiality is the furthest thing from the mind of the creators for the video. Its a montage of “man watching women from projector room chair” which we have never seen before, and club dance scenes which we have never seen before, and semi-naked women which we have never EVER seen before. I’m really glad that as Calvin Harris continues to infiltrate the charts with unique, game changing music (Read: Please stop now) he also shows us how music videos can be used to change the way women are perceived. For example the frame with the woman stumbling into a bathroom in her underwear to look into a mirror showed me ‘real conflict.’ The scene where a woman behind spoons an unresponsive Calvin Harris showed me ‘unbridled desire’ and ‘subservient woman’ The scene where the woman emerges from the water and gives porn face shows me...
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Rita Ora isn’t here for Calvin Harris questions.

The most important breakup in SUPER SUPER A-LIST celebrity history known as Rita Whora and Calvin Harris has added another super dramatic chapter to it’s books today. Rita was at the launching of a new DKNY fragrance (read: turning up at the drop of a hat) and was being interviewed by the Associated Press when things took a turn for the “NOT HERE FOR THIS.” The interviewer was casually asking Rita such hardball questions as “What do you love about performing?” before he threw her a line with the nice soft question of  “WHY DOES CALVIN HARRIS HATE YOUR WHORA ASS?” . Rita handled that like a pro, and by a pro I mean like Mariah Carey or Naomi Campbell when her publicist jumped in and said “NOT HERE FOR THIS” as she sashayed off into the crowd to find someone else to interview her. I am not an expert on relationships, but I get the feeling this means Rita Ora and Calvin Harris wont be reconciling? How will i go on without posters of this power-couple of music to slap all over my walls and/or use to pack things when moving house?
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Calvin Harris isn’t here for Rita Ora.

The Lidl version of Rihanna (who in herself is at best an ASDA version of Beyonce) known as Rita Ora has recently been mouthing off about how upset she was that her ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris stopped her from performing the song he wrote and produced for her. Rita was due to perform “I Will Never Let you Down” at the esteemed event for all huge iconic music moments known as the Teen Choice Awards this year, but instead she sung “I Will Definitely Actually Be Letting You Down” to herself in her seat and didn’t perform shit as she watched Ariana Grande’s bobblehead jiggle around the stage. According to Rita,  Calvin said “No thanks”  to the producers when they asked for his approval to have the song performed. “I was supposed to perform, and for anyone that doesn’t understand how it works, he wrote and produced the song — I mean, he’s an incredible songwriter, never going to disregard his talents, he’s incredible,” Rita said. “So [Harris] has to approve anything TV-wise, for anybody that doesn’t get it…so he has to approve the rights to [use the song] and he didn’t approve the Teen Choice Awards.” Of course, when asked if she was upset Rita admitted that she was upset not for her billboard positions, but rather for her ‘fans’. “Yeah, I’m not gong to lie, but not for my own selfish reasons, but for my fans…Because the show was going to be awesome…[but] everything happens for a reason, that’s how I look at it.” Calvin didn’t heed the warnings of Rob Kardashian (!) who told everyone that  Rita Ora has a vagina that accepts all potential platinum records as payment for bare-peen entry, and so decided to hit it with Rita for a while. I guess Calvin is kind of one of those “If everyone else is doing it” sort of...
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