evenge, Season 3 to date has been consistently a step up from it’s all-over-the-map second season, but suddenly it looks like the clear mission to right the wrongs of it becoming a budget version of Batman is starting to slip off the rails. The entire episode kind of revolves around what Revenge is at its very weakest with – boring supporting characters. Any network drama seems to be littered with these stock waifs and handsome deadweights – actors with uninspired writing and even less inspiring delivery who appear to do nothing but prolong the shelf-life of our favourite shows by keeping the “good stuff” padded out across 22 episodes.
Christina Aguilera obviously isn’t aware of what a PR is, because she’s given two fat fucks about all of the negative press she’s had during her time on The Voice. Instead of using it as a platform to relaunch her pop career, Christina has decided to just sit down next to the craft table and stock up on the Kentucky whilst throwing shade at boybands. Christina should definitely rest assured that there’s probably a role as another matriarch for her on Revenge should she ever quit The Voice. The latest in the Outing of Christina’s Cuntery (A long and twisting saga chronicling how Christina Aguilera is basically the worst) is that she’s ignoring her family’s pleas for her to visit her ill and ageing grandparents who are in their late 80s and are desperate to meet their great grandchild. Christina’s grandparents are obviously just total fame leaches, I mean, think of all the things they could do on their deathbeds with the exposure from reuniting with Christina. They could do People magazine pictorials of Christina sitting with them in a hospital. They could do a Diane Sawyer interview from their wheelchairs in a hospital corridor. They could tweet pictures with countdowns until their livers collapse. Such tricky bastards! Poor Christina must be exhausted with her trash family always trying to reach out to cash in on her. She’s just a victim in all this, I wish her family would let her be to eat and get hammered. Without Christina Aguilera, there is no unifying figure that The Voice crew can come together to hate. Wait, Adam Levine is on that show right? Never mind. Not a problem, off to the old folks visiting hour Christina – take a game of battleship!
Nicole Kidman is a name that you might remember as being the chick from Moulin Rouge! and The Others back in the early 2000s. Suffice to say her name is certainly not Nicole Relevant or Nicole Current, but such details do not hold a bitch down when a bitch wants to be a bitch. Nicole has long been known to be one cold ho on the set of her movies, and regularly demands that people don’t look her in the eye and don’t talk to her, and shit hasn’t changed. In this weeks National Enquirer, the following report was printed Nicole Kidman’s shooting her new horror film “Stoker” in Nashville, but crew members swear the real horror is Nicole! Reports [a] backstage spy…”Nicole is a real witch, and they’ve nicknamed her ‘Ice Princess.’ No one’s even allowed to speak to her, except for primary cast members, the director or producers. The other day she requested a glass of water and was furious when the person brought her water with ice in it. ‘I don’t drink ice water,’ Nicole bellowed, demanding a room temperature refill. Everyone’s walking around on eggshells to make sure ‘Her Majesty’ is not displeased.” In another bizarre incident, a prop person moved an umbrella she was using in a scene from one side of a table to the other. When they began to rehearse the scene, Nicole threw a fit over the minor re positioning and read the poor guy the riot act! Ice Princess is hardly imaginative – you just look at her face and know she’s been submerged in a glacier for the past six years, that face is so rigid even the warmest summer wouldn’t melt a wrinkle in. So Nicole likes her water at room temperature. Well Nicole should really be thanked for this, shes...
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