At last, TMZ’s disgusting photographers are finally good for something other than helping me maintain the staff office chart of Britney’s favourite frapps. The paps caught Jennifer Garner, Victor Garber and J.J Abrams meeting up for dinner in L.A last night. You might also know these three as Sydney Bristow, Jack Bristow and the dude who made Jack and Sydney Bristow. I prefer to call them The Holy Trinity of Television. Anyway having dinner individually is really not that big of a deal, but these three having dinner together sends off a CODE RED WIG alarm at the FFAR (Fans For Alias Reboot) headquarters. If that shit went down i’d hope it wouldn’t be as bad as that messy “24” reboot. An Alias reunion would mark the end of my life on this planet because as soon as that shit is done I would have no reason to live, and/or any hopes or dreams to follow any more. Apparently, when a TMZ ratface asked JJ if Sydney Bristow would be coming back he replied with only “Haha, You’ll have to ask Jen!” And then they all got in the same car and drove off to whatever dark voodoo arts place they have to toy with all of my emotions and general mental well being. If Lena Olin and Bradley Cooper had attended, well, let’s not because I’m not feeling so great and I’m scared incase I give myself a heart condition so.
Jennifer Garner is probably best known for her starring role in ABC’s “Alias” but she’s grown even more famous since marrying Hollywood actor Ben Affleck, to become one half of the most down to earth power-couples in the celebrity scene. Find loads of new pictures of Jennifer as used by LA Deli here. Jennifer Garner Gallery
evenge, Season 3 to date has been consistently a step up from it’s all-over-the-map second season, but suddenly it looks like the clear mission to right the wrongs of it becoming a budget version of Batman is starting to slip off the rails. The entire episode kind of revolves around what Revenge is at its very weakest with – boring supporting characters. Any network drama seems to be littered with these stock waifs and handsome deadweights – actors with uninspired writing and even less inspiring delivery who appear to do nothing but prolong the shelf-life of our favourite shows by keeping the “good stuff” padded out across 22 episodes.
It’s pretty fucking lucky that ALIAS ended when it did, because Jennifer Garner appeared to have been holding up four lifetimes of BEBE-MAKING to unleash an army attractive, strong-jawed offspring with Ben Affleck. No one wants to see Sydney Bristow in that lacy bra and panties with a giant baby bump. But here it is anyway. Mariah Carey speed-dialing my number for mad good photoshop skills. No surprise then that the MONTHSSSSS (gossip rag writers are seriously fucking boring people) of speculation about Jennifer Garner being knocked up again has come to an end after Jen announced to People that Yes! She is going to be fat for the better part of yet another year! I personally love my Jennifer Garner to look like a whale, so I’m totally okay with this. In fact, Jennifer Garner could be clinically obese and i’d still walk away from a sausage stand for her. Jen said the usual shit about how ‘thrilled’ she was to have another bebe and how her vagina is basically a rag flapping around in the wind now. Okay she didn’t say the last part, but she should have. Jennifer Garner will be a Duggar soon and her vagina is looking for a band aid and some sutures to DIY itself back to health. In less happy news, this all appears to confirm a number of blind items about Jen and Ben which infer that he wants to leave her, and has cheated on her numerous times; something that she’s become fed up about and is ready to end the marriage over.
LA Deli is a satire/comedy column. We put a humorous spin on reported news, rumors, speculation, assumptions, opinions as well as factual information, the veracity of which cannot be guaranteed.
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