So I’m going on my first vacation in seven years tomorrow. I keep telling people that, and I feel like it must be a lie, but It could actually be the tragic truth that is my pathetic, overworked life.
As such LA Deli will be demoted on my priorities list as follows over the next three days.
- Getting drunk and mooning people on a boat….WOOOH!
- Listening to MJ’s “Black and White” I forgot about that song. Such a good song you guys
- Finding out where the hell Jodie Foster was supposed to be from in Elysium. Seriously, what was that?
- Getting drunk and mooning people on a bus….WOOOOH!
- Eating a spaced out pot brownie then slapping a stripper on the ass whilst shouting the line “WOOOH, SHOW ME YOUR MONEY MAKER, but also probably get some college education under your belt because stripping is not forever.”
- Getting drunk and mooning people from whenever. Like, public transport not that important. WOOOOOOOOOOH!
- Updating that trash blog you write.
I’m sure you understand. And hey, there’s a veritable goldmine* of posts written when semi-concious from wine consumption for you to enjoy! Take this old piece of shit for example, or perhaps this deaf pug will cheer you up? Maybe you’d like to fap over Zefron?
To keep you ticking over in my drunk time, here’s a video if Iggy Australia falling off a stage and everyone over-reacting like her giant silicone butt wouldn’t have cushioned that shit.
*If by gold you mean the kind of gold you find on Tutankhamun bust replicas for sale at the back of Take A Break.