Shocking Twist: Alex Reid has gay drag flings.
Ever since the breakup of gentle English rose Chantelle Houghton and her destined true love (and previously also destined true love of Jordan and A Bin) Alex Reid the nation has been on the edge of our seat. Why would such a natural and organic romance full of hope have collapsed? How can we get over the failure of the nation’s sweethearts one true family dream, representing dreams of prostitutes and attention whores across the land?
Just like after the economy collapsed, as a nation we have struggled on. It’s been a daily battle with so many questions still raised in our minds, but we’ve done what Brits do and forced ourselves to press onwards.
However, in a SHOCKING TWIST today, we may be all back to square one in this harrowing moving on ordeal, as Chantelle revealed to best friends, The Sun Newspaper and Twitter, the shocking and SORDID reason that she is no longer one half of the Poundland version of Kate & Wills.
Alex is best known for being a cage fighter who has a penchant for cross-dressing as a character called “Roxanne” aka the most GLAMOROUS AND BEAUTIFUL PICTURE TO EVER GRACE YOUR EYES. However, Chantelle is clearly very threatened by her partner excelling her in every possible way in the glamour stakes, as she has revealed the shocking truth, that she couldn’t handle the spicy spicy wares that Roxanne brought to the table.
Indeed. Chantelle recalls to the Sun that Alex had a “four day solo sex orgy” when she was 8 months pregnant, during which time she found him dressed in her clothes in full drag as Roxanne with her lingerie scattered across the floor.
Roxanne being the hot bitch that she is also had sex toys everywhere and pornography playing. Chantelle couldn’t handle all the glamour and spice and moved out to sleep on an inflatable bed in her flat.
She tried coming back regularly for four days to try and reason with Roxanne whom, as the hero of the nation, was “always horny” and kept asking Chantelle to perform sex acts on him. Obviously Chantelle was sexually shy around such a fierce and glamorous creature. Insecurities are bound to come out when Roxanne is tempting you with an alluring butt-plug.
Chantelle goes on to reveal Alex texted her when she was in labour as he was three doors down and just wanted to check how she was cracking on with the whole pushing a human being out of her vagina affair.
The final nail for Chantelle was finding texts to a dude to arrange a sex meet and also was texting the prostitutes he’d had orgies with. Really looks to me like Chantelle needs to GET OVER HERSELF and realize what a sexual stallion of a Prince Charming she was with. Sure he only texted during labour, probably because he was nailing a male nurse in the cleaners cupboard and doing his bit for the nation. Why does she have to be such a hater?