Shocking News: Brit Brit doesn’t want to be a popstar any more
In news that will be all over CNN, BBC and NBC all night in constantly updated headlines, David LaChapelle revealed in a recent interview that Britney Spears is totally over being a pop star and is probably just shimmying at Vegas to feed the zillion people who profit off of Britney Spears Inc.
“Britney never actually really wanted this career… When she was 17 years old and we shot Rolling Stone, I met her parents at her house and they were sweet. Everyone was really nice. There were pictures and trophies of her as a beauty pageant girl and then she exploded into worldwide fame. It wasn’t really a life that she asked [for].”
David went on to say when he filmed Brit Brit’s ‘Everytime’ video back in 2004 all she really wanted to do is disappear into the woods with a tanker of frapps and she’d rather that bath she drowned in was a bottomless pit of cheetos. He said Britney basically would rather have burned her nips off than finish that video, because, well, bitch was over it!
“When we were doing the ‘Everytime’ video and shooting the second day, she didn’t want to finish it. We didn’t have a video. I remember thinking ‘wow, she doesn’t really wanna be here.’ Working with people who are celebrities over the years taught me that there’s a lot of suffering in an artist. When people get rich like that everybody wants something. It’s like winning the lottery… People are making a lot of money off of them (celebrities).”
So the narrative that the world had guessed for the past six years of Britney appearances in which she’s looked like she’d rather throw herself off of Nicki Minaj’s cavernous ass than be there is 100% right, but Brit Brit is trapped by the fact that people make DAT MONEY off her breathing, eating and shitting. If Britney farts heavily, Larry Rudolph buys another mercedes. If Brit Brit falls coming out of the gym, the editor of Star Magazine buy a new house. If Brit Brit looks longingly at a frapp through the window of Starbucks, she puts more cheese grit money in Papa Spears’ short pockets.