Those shitty Transformers movies are still making money.
Call me crazy, because I am crazy. But call me stupid, because I thought that when the world saw what a piece of shit stain the second Transformers movie was compared to the first that they’d turn their backs on that racist, lewd, eye fucking piece of shit franchise in time for the third film to become a hot mess flop, especially since the porn performance of Megan Fox would be replaced by the excellent delivery in the role of Piece of Wood with Tits by Rosie Huntington-Whitely.
As with most things in life, I was fucking wrong! The third Transformers movie made $1.13 Billion worldwide and became the biggest movie in the franchise. So of course Hollywood decided to remove Shia Labeouf from the equation before he asked for dat money and brought in everyone’s favourite film actor that no one would specifically go and pay to see Mark Whalberg.
Somehow, the fact that basically everything that was present in the first film being completely non-present – and the fact that these movies are essentially 90 minutes of action blurs featuring indistinguishable robots fighting doesn’t seem to have put anyone off as this shit is in line to open to over $93 Million at the US Box office this weekend. People are dumb bitches and so I can’t blame Hollywood for making dumb movies for these assholes.
Elsewhere this weekend, How to Train Your Dragon 2 will continue to be the lacklustre performer it should have never been, Jersey Boys is looking a flop mess, Maleficient will cross $200 Million on it’s way to $220 Million aka way, way above expectations. St Angie’s horned up performance will ultimately score her a $600 Million global supersmash which will by far and wide be her crowning motion picture achievement.