Sarah Harding Wins Celebrity Big Brother.
In ‘What the flying fuck’ news, former Girls Aloud singer Sarah Harding has been crowned the winner of Celebrity Big Brother 2017.
Sarah did a great job in single-handedly keeping the show in the tabloids for the past month by cheating on her boyfriend, having numerous boozy arguments, jerking off a former Batchelorette loser and generally being the hot mess of the house. And because the world is a difficult place where Trump is president, Channel 5 viewers voted Harding as their winner which i guess is more of a testament to how fucking dull all the other housemates were, with the notable and gif-worthy exception of the eleven days of Trish Paytas.
Harding may have won due to her girl-band fanbase voting on her behalf, but emerged to widespread audience boos. Things got so bad for the reputation of the former girl-bander that Nadine Coyle and her Missing Passport recently came to her defense and Nicola Roberts refused to discuss her. Further, Harding went on to imply that Cheryl Fernandez Chiquitita Cole Payne is a master manipulator of the media and continued to imply there’s no love lost between the former Girls Aloud sistas.
But she got to shag Chad, who is a highly rational and lovable human who says things like ‘if you were a spice girl you’d be Shitty Spice’. Classic.