Rob Kardashian is not here for this.
It absolutely pains me to do what I’m about to do. I am about to defend and say something nice about a Kardashian. A KARDASHIAN.
This is Rob Kardashian. You might know him as the one that doesn’t sound like a baby prostitute, look like a Sasquatch or have permanent bitch face.
Unfortunately for Rob he dated that she-devil Rita Whora who’s song “I Will Never Let You Down” probably feels like a million daggers in Robs soft heart because she was hoing it around town, or something like that.
After this time, as many people who have a shitty relationship breakup will tell you, he gained a fair bit of weight. Not unusual.
But the internet is having a field day calling Rob a fat fuck and telling him to step away from the McDonalds and being like “OMG LOL THE SHITTEST KARDASHIAN OF THEM ALL”.
First and foremost, Rob is by far and wide the least shittest Kardashian. On a scale of how shit the Kardashians are its like
This is a scientific ranking based on my ears and tolerance for bullshit.
Now we’ve established that, let’s break this shit down.
Rob Kardashian has his girlfriend (allegedly) cheat on him with every trick in the music business to make her career a goer. This plays out publicly. In addition to his girlfriend being a she-skank, he has the trauma of having The Kardashians as his family. Like, shit, waking up to Kim’s voice alone is enough to make you wanna shove twinkies in your ears, mouth, nostrils and butthole just to make it stoppppp.
On top of all that Rob has the pressure of his superficial as fuck family telling him to go to fat camp all the time. And then a bunch of awful fucks sitting at our computers calling him a fattie fat fat.
Yes, I know this is total hypocrisy. And yes, if Kim got really fat it’d be like a little gift from baby Jesus himself. I guess what I’m saying is Rob Kardashian can’t help that his family are the biggest famewhore assholes this side of the Lohan residence, so give the guy a break.
Just imagine how lucky you are to be one of those billions of people that were not born into a Kardashian family or subsidiary branch.