Nicole Kidman lies to tabloids.
Nicole Kidman has a new movie coming out soon so expect to see this slab of ice on the front of every magazine for at least two months before you ask yourself “When was the last time I actually saw a Nicole Kidman movie” and realize it was in 2001 and you only liked it because Kylie Minogue was a fairy in it.
Anyway in an interview with Aussie paper The Border Mail, Kidman totally forgot that she wasn’t giving an interview to a deaf and blind doormouse, but rather to the general public, because Nicole served a lie pie with a side of BITCH PLEASE.
Nicole farted about how much happier she is tussling her hands through Keith Urban’s hair than wearing flats for Tommy Girl, Nicole went on to vadge-blow some bullshit about how she’s living a balance of her fantasy life (READ: MOVIE STAR) and real life now, whereas before it was all fantasy life (READ: BEARDING MOVIE STAR). No lies there, but this shit is what will have you rolling your eyes harder than me in a Tesco line when an able bodied mother of four starts counting her coupons.
“I Smile now!” she added.
BWAHAHA. NICOLE KIDMAN. SMILING.
That bitch hasn’t been able to smile since 2004. Nicole Kidman traded her smile to the anti-ageing gods for sausage lips and a frozen forehead, and im not sure what the hell this is supposed to be – but if she thinks this shit is smiling then girl has some serious issues.