Nicki Minaj and Mimi will make American Idol watchable.
Remember when Mariah Carey signed up to American Idol and hit the roof when her former collaborator Whatever A Nicki Minaj Is was also signed to the table?
Remember how you thought “Probably, but there is no substantial evidence to support this story which is right up there with PPI claims in a list of things I give a fuck about” Well care not no more, because Mimi and Minajare doing a service to science and proving that you can’t mix Butterfly farts with the vapours of Peroxide and Silicone!
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During auditions for American Snoredol Season 93 Jennifer Lopez texted The Creature Known As Nicki Minaj to say that Mimi has been telling everyone that her ass looks like a Khloe Kardashian stuffed into an ankle sock. Not really, but whatever went down set Nicki off to the moon and back. Nicki’s helium pornstar voice delivered such gems as “Off with your head” and called Mooms “Your fucking highness” before also deeming her “boring as fuck” in a rant which had Mimi calling her a 3 year old baby.
Sure Mimi is mother superior now she’s been lounging on the HSN for a while, and whilst there’s no doubt that Moomz is giving Nicki the side eye like she’s a virgin lettuce salad or a piece of steamed tofu, Moomz walks away with 1-0 on this one. This fight is kind of like a girlfriend on a period going off on her boyfriend for flirting with the waitress while he has two single fucks to give. Nicki is probably sore in the crotch that she’s cashing in $10 Million less than Moomz for sitting on her cottage cheese ass and telling people they can’t sing whilst she herself is about as much of a singer as my asshole is after a Mexican takeaway.
Whatever Nicki Minaj Is also threatened Moomz that she’d “Knock her out” but even though I dont know what species Whatever Nicki Minaj Is belongs to, I do know that Mimi has powerful hooves and is currently in her weighty grazing season. Meanwhile fellow judges Randy “Gently Gaining” Jackson and Nicole Kidman’s hairdog are still alive and breathing somewhere in between this clusterfuck of egos.