Because the snowy hills of Aspen are only a seasonal dalliance for Empress of the Butterflies Mariah Carey, she has to find something to do with her time for the rest of the year. For a while, visiting the HSN to sell moments was enough for Mimi. And then, murdering some classics on live TV worked for her, but Mimi has heard the beacon call of a million emperor butterflies suddenly flocking towards a desert oasis and she must heed their calls as their iconic leader.
Yes, that’s right – Mimi’s true calling as a Vegas showgirl has finally arrived.
Mimz revealed to Ellen that she is going to do a residency in Caesars Palace with all the glee of someone who just realized they are going to take a six hour car journey with an IBS sufferer.
Glamour moments abound. High slit dresses totally appropriate here. Vegas is effectively what Mariah Carey was made for as it allows her to do two of her favourite things in the world. Make a ludicrous amount of money and look like a 12 year olds glitter glue painting of an adult female whilst she does so.
Mimi is expected to at least match Celine and Britney’s huge $475k-per-gig payday for her stint at Caesars Palace, where she’s due to take over from on hiatus Celine and departing Shania.
I hope Caesars know what they’ve let themselves in for. Celine may have demanded saline drip nasal solution and room humidifiers, but Mariah will insist on her entire dressing room complex being decked out to be an indoor jungle botantical garden filled with the rarest butterflies from every corner of the globe. Where Celine might have asked for white flowers, Mariah will ask for fresh lillies flown in from the pristine jungles of the Seychelles every morning via hot air balloon so they smell like money.
The behind the scenes DVD of this show is already going to be all that the gay community have ever wished for in life and that is factual.
In other news, noted dress wearer and actress Jennifer Lopez Featuring is continuing to hover around a deal for The Axis at Planet Hollywood where she looks to take over when Brit Brit wraps her legs around a KFC family bucket and shoots off into the horizon later this year. Mimi remains unbothered.
Out of all of those new wave Vegas hos, Brit has made Planet Hollywood $38 Million in only one year, Shania made Caesar’s $43 Million over three years, Cher made them $97 Million over four years, Elton John scored $140 Million over like a million years, Celine has made them over $540 Million over six years, so Celine wins everything… as usual.
Mariah will probably give Celine a strong run for her money because of gays and butterflies. Did you know that behind gay men, butterflies are the second most active consumer spenders at concerts and events? The more you learn….
LA Deli is a satire/comedy column. We put a humorous spin on reported news, rumors, speculation, assumptions, opinions as well as factual information, the veracity of which cannot be guaranteed.
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