Times must be hard at Vogue
Times must be tough for Vogue because instead of a human female who is only a missed meal of a single pea away from dying they’ve placed Kim and Kanye on the cover at last. I say at last because Kanye probably had to go straight to the molten seat of the devil in hell and personally beg his ass to be on the cover of Vogue for the souls of everyone in his bloodline. The devil was still like “Hmmm.NOPE” so Kanye had to throw in the Kuntrashians too. The Devil was still unconvinced as who wants the stinky nasty souls of those vapid fame-whores, but when Kanye threw in his entire collection of winterwear to the deal it became a goer.
I see that Vogue’s old friend Photoshop was not one to rest when it realized it had to not only airbrush beauty in, but also airbrush trashiness out. Nice try, Photoshop but no beuno!
This picture is kind of wrong because surely Kanye should have his hands up Kim’s ass to play her like the vicarious puppet she is for him. Kanye can’t wear pretty dresses, but KIM CAN.
In addition to the HIGH FASHION that Kim and Kanye are bringing to this issue, we have a spread about noted supermodel (for FHM) Kate Upton. If the picture above is anything to go by, Kate Upton wasn’t available and as such they photoshopped this robot mannequin instead.
Vogue May is at this rate looking to be covered iconic fashion star Avril Lavigne and will feature centre page stories on innovators of style such as Bai Ling. If Anna Wintour’s true mission here is to sink Vogue so she can jump ship to Harpers, then WELL PLAYED.