Katie gets sole custody.

According to the Daily Mail Katie Holmes waltzed into a boardroom, sat down across from Tom Cruise, and something like the following exchange occured

Katie: If you don’t give me sole custody, I’ll tell the world I was bearding.
Tom: HA! You can’t do that, contractual clause! SUCK IT.
Katie: Sue me then, i’ll still tell everyone
Tom: Wait…what?
Katie: So, sole custody then?

Tom handed over sole custody to Suri in exchange for Katie’s custody of his rampant rabbit. A wanky PR statement released said the following 

‘We are committed to working together as parents to accomplish what is in our daughter Suri’s best interests. 

‘We want to keep matters affecting our family private and express our respect for each other’s commitment to each of our respective beliefs and support each other’s roles as parents.’

Translated this means that Katie is not letting Suri anywhere near the crazy scientologist motherfuckers. Tom is imminently having a tantrum in his platform shoes wardrobe. Most are saying Katie had been planning to file for months and this shit was her way of ambushing Tom and avoiding Scientology getting a hold of her.

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