Justin Bieber has celebrities showing 50 Shades of 2007
No, it’s not Brit Brit and this isn’t 2007. It’s bucket-pissing, fan spitting all round good jerk Justin Bieber and for his DUI arrest with a blood alcohol level of about what I am before 7am every day, celebrities are LOSING THEIR SHIT and the internet is exploding.
Okay, so IMMA LET YOU HAVE YOUR BREAKDOWN JUSTIN BIEBER, but i’d just like to say BRITNEY HAD THE WORST BREAKDOWN OF ALL TIME.
Justin Bieber’s breakdown has thus far consisted of driving with what all of my teachers have ever needed to get them by my high school years in his system, which i guess is too much for popstars who’ve only recently graduated to the big boy toilet.
But that is not going to stop celebrities stepping up to the noble cause of protecting Justin from becoming a programmed femmebot gently shaking his arms to former hits for the next six years, and also from the insensitivity of a public who gently giggled as Britney Spears teetered around death seven years ago.
Ariana Grande, another toddler who attended the Mariah Carey school of being Mariah Carey, is very upset about the arrest and is acting like Justin’s hood rat phase is like OMGZ BRITNEY ON A STRETCHER. She said
“I think it’s really serious. I’ve seen tweets of people making fun of the mugshot and all this stuff, and it’s so ignorant.
“It’s gotten to a point where I just want him to be okay. It’s this very serious thing. It’s not just like a kid who’s, you know screwing around, it’s dangerous. It’s very serious and upsetting”
And so basically when we see the LEAVE JUSTIN ALONE video come out, we know its Ariana Grande pulling her hair back under a blanket.Above: This is what an Ariana Grande is. Like an adorable Pokemon.
Ellen and Gaga both went on twitter to ramble a bit about how they just hope he’s safe and we as the public should show him compassion and Ireland Baldwin told the world “this is some serious shit, start praying for him”
Celebrities are super dramatic bitches! When a Spanish maid forgets to clean one of their self-portraits, these bitches sit them down and hold their hands and say “I’m really concerned about you, i’ve seen the quality of your work slipping lately, is there anything that you need to talk about at home….is everything okay, with your husband? I noticed the bruise on your cheek….” when the bruise was from having to climb up a pile of money to clean the stack of Emmy’s for them.
Until we see Justin Bieber talking in a Briitish accent and a dodgy looking goatee guy following him everywhere we can just relax a little bit. Lets stay on HIGH LUTFI ALERT.
Every time I meet Justin Bieber I kind of want to punch him in the tits a bit, so I can’t say I didn’t let out a few HA HAs at this news, but I guess I hope he can get to rehab to figure out how to be, oh you know, a DECENT ADULT HUMAN BEING. I think that’s what we should all be troubled about, how we’ve made a multi-millionaire of such a little shitty toerag.