And by “life” i mean “An entire pool of Tesco’s Prosecco”.
Jessica Simpson appeared on HSN this week at some stage and I forgot to add it to my Sky + because I have seriously impaired life priorities and I will never let you guys down again.
I guess she was on HSN because she likes to pop out of whatever vat of delicious southern butter fried foods that she’s semi-retired to every now and then to let us know that she’s still totally bangable and totally rich for her amazing talents of not knowing the key essentials of what is required to operate as an adult.
But Jessica wasn’t just there to talk about how her jeans look really good if you are six weeks pregnant because they are totally flexi-waist, no siree – she was there to give us a show that Liza would be proud of.
Jessica’s stuttering explanation of what makes grey jeans so sexy is something that I am going to routinely whip out at a party after I run through Serene Branson’svery very heavy burtation.
Jessica on HSN reminds me of me rocking up to a family party after I’ve been out on the town. I’m trying to keep my shit together but im FOOLING NO ONE. I hope Ken Paves was there to tell her that she was amazing and that she really nailed it; BECAUSE SHE DID!
LA Deli is a satire/comedy column. We put a humorous spin on reported news, rumors, speculation, assumptions, opinions as well as factual information, the veracity of which cannot be guaranteed.
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