I’m beginning to notice a pattern here.

Since no-one with an insurance policy worth a shit can/will/should employ Lindsay Lohan in one of their movies, the only way that Orange is the new Crack can get into a movie these days is by literally stalking the shit out of producers and directors until they say yes.

Lindsay harassed her way into Samantha Ronson’s clam shell. Then she harassed her way onto the dick of the convict looking one from The Wanted and as Lilo is not one so miss a trick, so after essentially forcing the producers to cast her as Liz Taylor and creating a thousand lifetime movie drinking games in the process, she’s now tracking down essentially any rich or jewish looking men in suits to fund her movies.

At Sundance, Lindsay turned up (late) to announce that she’s now in a new movie that hasn’t been made yet, but she wants someone to direct plz. As per usual, Lindsay “fell in love with the script”. I feel like if Lindsay Lohan thought a show about her reading a newspaper for 25 minutes would be broadcast, she’d “fall in love with the script”.

And to follow up her love for all things on pieces of paper with the word “script” in the header,  La Lohan added….

 “I contacted Randall, and kind of harassed him to make it happen. But it’s just a really interesting story. It’s a psychological thriller about a woman who’s kind of on a journey to reclaim something that was lost of hers. And it gets a bit dark, but it’s a really interesting twist, and it’s something that I’m really looking forward to doing sooner rather than later.””

I’m sure that the highest calibre writers in the genre today are rushing to provide the next Se7en for Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay must be real worried that Jennifer Lawrence is going to get wind of this and snatch this project from her freckled arms.

Lindsay’s last thrillers were “I Know Who Killed Me” and “The Canyons” and “I Know Who killed Me” which have a combined score of 28% on RottenTomatoes so the world waits at the edge of it’s seat to see Lindsay accepting the oscar for Best Actress in a Fictional Role.

Lindsay finished off by saying she wants Jessica Lange to be in the film. And then she fell from her little crackie bubble back down to earth.

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