The Hunger Games: Catching Fire causes widespread lounge arguments.
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire starring Your Best Friend, has finally arrived on DVD and home video – and it’s already causing huge household drama for families across America. Including yours. Like, you totally NEED to get out of there because everyone is being super unreasonable and not listening to your point of view.
Reports say that the undertones and allegories of the movies have finally become clear to families who just saw the first one as “a bit of fun” .
“I couldn’t believe the Hunger Games was essentially a thinly masked debate and statement on society. It’s about a choice…a message of having the choose between a dark haired, handsome supermodel – or a dirty blonde average looking boy.” said Debbie Jones, 14. Debbie’s household has been in an uproar since watching the film on Saturday night with, Debbie says “Some shitty popcorn dad always buys from a discounter.” Debbie was insistent that the poor quality of the popcorn further soured an already traumatic film night.
“I wish we’d never bought The Hunger Games: Catching Fire” said Debbie’s dad, Andrew as he aggressively stirred his coffee. “I mean, we all enjoyed the first one as a family, but I guess we didn’t really think about what the film was forcing upon us back then….like I just thought it was clear that Peeta was the one you’d go with – he’s really kind and sensitive and he has that dreamy smile, I bet his skin is supple and soft too…. but the women in my family disagreed”
Peeta or Gale, it’s the eternal question which continues to ruin lives across America.
There was reportedly widespread eye-rolling and deep division over breakfast the next morning in the Jones household, and so deep the rift is that mother Sarah Jones is re-evaluating the very foundations of her marriage.
“It’s just that if Andrew thinks that Peeta is the hot one, then I really have to wonder if he just settled with me” she says, adding that “It’s abundantly clear that Gale is way, way hotter than Peeta.”. Sarah went on to say that her daughter is definitely on her side. “Like my daughter has pictures of Gale all over her bedroom wall and sometimes when she’s at school I just stand in the door and….Yeah, Gale is WAY hotter”
Further complicating this already tenuous situation is son Chris Jones, 19, who say’s he prefers Divergent to the Hunger Games, and doesn’t really care about either Gale or Peeta. “It still breaks our heart” said Andrew of the situation “Chris was such a bright, promising boy. It’s so sad that he decided to throw it all away and force us to kick him out of our house”. Chris has since been seen sleeping rough and said of the situation “My parents are fucking nuts. It’s a fucking movie. What the fuck”.
America can only that the tragedy of the Jones family story, a story familiar across the country this week, is one that will calm down in time for the next Hunger Games to come out. One thing we can all rejoice in unity on though, is that Jennifer Lawrence is our best friend forever and we cant wait to eat pizza and talk about boys with her.