Did you wake up today and say “I really want to see pictures of a greasy shirtless dude taking pictures of Rihanna with her nipple falling out of her top and her naked arse stuck in the air like shes pushing out a big fart” ??? If so, then you likely tick a different box on official forms than I do.
Nonetheless – I do appreciate Rihanna’s dedication to ho-tricking her way into public conciousness year after year before going on lazy tour after lazy tour and being really committed to not being able to sell a single album. I sort of suspect that Rihanna did a deal with Rumpelstiltskin on Once Upon a Time and he gave her Umbrella, but because all magic has a caveat he told her she’d never sell an album or a tour ticket.
Anyway, if you’d like to see those trick pictures then you’ll have to view them at TMZ where those ass-holes have enough money to pay the £1,000 per-fucking-picture fee to show a full series of 70 (£70k) worth of grody, grainy ass paparazzi pictures. I wont be paying that shit because its basic and its Rihanna. If it was Britney, i might pay for one. ONE. At reduced rate.
The best part about this photo series is seeing Rihanna holding a black towel against her body after the shoot, as if somehow, she still has a shred of dignity to protect. There’s nothing more dignified than having just allowed a team of strange men prod and preen your naked body as you stick your chulo up in the air to give your meatflaps a little sniff of that LA Breeze.
I’d assume we can expect an acoustic album about social change from Rihanna in the coming months then.
LA Deli is a satire/comedy column. We put a humorous spin on reported news, rumors, speculation, assumptions, opinions as well as factual information, the veracity of which cannot be guaranteed.
We cannot provide any warranty on the validity of what is posted.
Content written by Little Banyan Media 2014. Images property of their rightful owners.