After Megan Fox foretold of box office history when a bunch of animated turds running around Megan Fox for two hours grossed more money than we will all see in our lifetimes, I had half expected her to come forth with her IMPORTANT PREMONITIONS for this weekend’s box office. Unfortunately it would appear Megan was too busy injecting vats of snake venom into her face as she didn’t give box office analysts jack shit.
Megan Fox let us ALL down.
So without Megan’s otherworldly powers to guide them, studio execs had to go by their own instincts, and those instincts were of course super fucking wrong.
The Expendables 3 was expected to be the highest charting new release this weekend, but it tanked hard and is looking at a launch behind other new release Let’s Be Copsfor just $15.9 Million. Lazy puns at how the Expendables have expired etc are well on their way from the fat fingers of weasley box office analysts across the land.
As mentioned, Let’s Be Cops continues the summer tradition set by Transformers 4 and last weekend’s TMNT of absolute dross grossing more money than should be legally allowed. What surmounts to being New Girl in police uniforms without the slightly important ‘girl’ part was lambasted (I love that fucking word) by critics for sucking hard with a measly 11% on RT, but America don’t listen to no reviews.
This means that shit show Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is still the top film of the weekend and Megan Fox continues her reign of being the most successful film prop for another week.
Elsewhere Guardian’s of the Galaxycontinue’s a robust performance towards being the top movie of the year having now grossed over $200 Million.
Katie Holmes in The Giver
The Giver was expected to be a sleeper hit this year, but then Katie Holmes joined the cast and we all know how that bodes for a movie. The Thetans are sabotaging Katie!
In fairness, not even Meryl Streep and Jeff Bridges could save that mess. It’s on track for an OK $13 Million start thanks largely to it’s bad reviews. It’s becoming clear the YA fiction is not always a surefire hit, and audiences are keen to perceive new releases as budget rips on The Hunger Games – by far and wide the most successful YA franchise to date.
The Hundred Foot Journeystood out amongst holdovers, looking at a 30-35% second weekend drop, with improving legs likely from here on out – the flick on track for a 4/5x multiplier. Meanwhile, Lucy has topped $100 Million, further cementing Scarlett Johansson’s status as #1 porn star in America.
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