Dr Luke countersues Ke$ha and says she’s lying.

Dr Luke countersues Ke$ha and says she’s lying.

Where’s a Jennifer Lawrence nude when you need one? Sigh.

Dr Luke has gone public hours after Ke$ha hit the “nuke” button on his career with accusations of sexual, physical and mental assault. In a shocking move to absolutely no-one, Dr.Luke denies that he’s a sleazy, controlling scumbag.

Dr Luke’s lawyer friend who isn’t Amal Clooney (the fact that other lawyers even exist on earth right now might be a challenge to believe, so lets hold hands and get through this together) said that Ke$ha is being a real Ke$hit, and that she and her mother have both admitted that they are lying and extorting Dr.Luke in  “a campaign of publishing outrageous and untrue statements”. Except Dr Luke’s lawyer team did not say if they had proof they they’d admitted to making it all up.

They also claimed that Ke$ha’s hot trailer park mom Pebe has been engineering a boatload of libelous lies with her new management firm in order to extort Dr.Luke to free her from her contract with him. He told TMZ that Ke$ha said she’d tell lies about him to a blogger who created a “Free Ke$ha” campaign unless he let her go, and has a copy of her original lawsuit she said she’d file against him unless he let her go.

You know, going public to say that your artist was trying to extort you in order to get the fuck away from you probably isn’t the most convincing argument for a counter-suit.

Anyway, Ke$ha’s lawyers were clearly refreshing their gmail inbox for a TMZ email because those ho’s immediately launched their counter-response. They said

“This is just another pathetic and entirely predictable example of Dr. Luke’s continued abuse, and a misguided attempt to keep Kesha under his tyrannical control. This lawsuit has absolutely no basis in fact, the law or reality. Kesha is focused on reclaiming her voice and her freedom. She is determined to move on with her life and her career by putting this dark period behind her.”

Like I’m pretty sure it’s only an “entirely predictable” example for all of team Ke$ha right now because the rest of the world are pretty much sitting asking WHATDAFUQISHAPPENING.

One minute Ke$ha is doing shots off of a dumpster and the next minute it’s like a Tom Hanks movie up in this grill.

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