Brit Brit launches her cheeto stained Lingerie collection.
Because Brit Brit is bored of being viewed as hypersexual and wants to go in an artistic new direction with her next album (read: it will end up being exactly the same as her last two albums) she took the natural next step to de-sexualize her image and be taken more seriously as a creative – she debuted her lingerie line in NYC yesterday!
Britney has already done more promotion for her lingerie line than she has for her last two albums. She appeared on Jimmy Fallon to do a little sell sell sell and didn’t look like she’d rather be slicing out her uterus and making a road runner b-line for the ocean on it, which is a new shade for her this year.
She is like two face. She looks totally great half-the-time and like a 45 year old housewife the other half. One thing is conclusive, that whoever is doing those damn mess wigs for her in Vegas needs to stop drop and ROLL out of her life, because seeing Britney with regular hair has become like seeing a unicorn in a forest. Rare and magical.
Brit wore a red jumpsuit because shes a mother now, and surprisingly looked classy and elegant throughout. Single power Brit-Brit is my favourite kinda Brit. She either goes crazy and falls into piles of cheetos and starbucks, or she publicly flaunts her hot new look on tellyvisions for us all to see, Y’ALL!
The best gift from this launch though was these
tacky as fuck super elegant Maya Angelou level poems delivered in a seductive, sensual robot voice which always ends with the line “inspired by silk. silhouettes, and promises” which is interesting because i thought the motto would be “inspired by Frappes, vanilla candles and Cheeto dust”
These adverts are hard to take because they are like a series of funhouse mirors of Brit Brits’ new surgery face. One minute, you’re like “Oh yeah there’s Britney Spears!” and the next minute you’re like “Harpo, who dis Bride of Wildenstein woman?”. Confusing.