BREAKING: Snorlax enters rehab, admits problem.
In a LA-DELI WORLD EXCLUSIVE, Snorlax of the smash hit television series and video game saga Pokemon has reportedly entered the Betty Ford clinic for substance and food addiction.
Snorlax has been troubling close friends for years with erratic eating behaviour and passing out in public places. Initially put down to the strains of life as a celebrity, close friends say there are darker reasons behind the collapses.
“Snorlax has been abusing Xanax and Ambien for years. He also is a huge stoner and eats huge amounts before mixing it with copious amounts of Xanax and Ambien. He just couldn’t handle the fame and developed massive anxiety about his size getting in the way for some reason.”
Snorlax has had a rough year after splitting from JigglyPuff who was said to have exacerbated his sleeping issues and he called in March’s Interview Magazine “A fucking slut”. He accused JigglyPuff, also known as JP in the Hip Hop community of “sucking every producers dick in the game” for a track after JP’s career took a nosedive after a cocaine scandal hit the tabloids.
Above: Jigglypuff’s indiscretions hit headlines this year.
Snorlax first hit fame with Pokemon, but in recent years has been trying to carve out his own career as a film actor and general fat bastard. His VH1 Reality Show “Snorlaxing Relaxing and Maxing all Cool” was cancelled after low ratings, and public interest in him had dipped after his latest film flopped at the box office.
Snorlax’s camp were contacted for comment on this article, but at the time of writing had not replied to our request.