Bryan Singer accused of sexual abuse

April 17, 2014 in Celebrities, Movies Leave a comment

So in ‘News I’d rather avoid with a ten foot barge pole so I’m going to leave it to someone else’ news, Hollywood director and mogul Bryan Singer has been accused of raping and sexually abusing a then-minor as part of a Hollywood drug and sex ring by a convicted paedophile for that very crime [Hollywood Reporter]

The man could be innocent. The man could be guilty.

Ultimately, the grand jury of blogs will decide, but this one in particular will not get involved with that mess until substantial damning evidence to support either side comes out.

These legal cases are so fucking messy. On one hand you could have Singer levying his power and pointing the finger of fame-whore at the accuser either because its either true or because it’s his best and only defence, which is kind of exactly what is happening right now, and on the other hand you have Michael F. Egan , a man of no notable name trying to leverage publicity either for personal gain or to utilize to have his case heard against a Hollywood titan, which is also exactly what is happening right now. What the truth is? That’s anyone’s guess.

Michael F. Egan III

What is clear though is that timing is suspiciously close to a new major movie release from Singer, though what is also clear is that as early as 2007 Radar Online documented Bryan Singer’s close ties with the head of the paedophile ring in question - Marc Collins-Rector, with many details of what happened in the Collins-Rector case mirroring the accusations now being levied against Singer. Easy enough to formulate a fake case if you’ve read the Radar article, but also easy enough to be one of the victims of Collins Rector and now have trouble having the world believe you because your up against a well-loved director.

So that’s probably all we’re going to say on that one.

Michael appears to have had a small role in one episode of an online web series, which is pretty fucking terrible. Take a look

Kurt Coleman is PERFECT and you could never.

Posted by: Deli Llama

April 16, 2014 in Celebrities Leave a comment

Kurt Coleman is PERFECT and you could never.

When someone calls themselves the “Paris Hilton Of…” anything you know that this person by all reasonable means should either be euthanized or placed in the Brit Brit Mental Hold in a high security hospital as they are a danger to society, to their friends, to their families – and most importantly, to their lovers.

Meet Kurt Coleman. He describes himself as “The Paris Hilton of Australia” which would mean that Australia just got a lot more crabs on its beaches.

LA Deli reader Suzanne recently brought to my attention Buzzfeed’s post which brought to her attention Kurt Coleman’s instagram which brings to everyone’s attention that Kurt Coleman is drinking the Anna Wintour Delusional Kool-Aid because Kurt thinks hes PERFECT and the rest of the world is jealous of his glamour and beauty.

Kurt not only thinks he’s perfect. He thinks he’s amazing. Like a higher being in life, or actress Bai Ling.

Kurt has over 170,000 followers on Facebook, but Kendall Jenner has over 6 Million likes on Facebook so at this stage i think If I made a page for a floppy used dildo it’d get a couple of million likes.

Kurt also likes spray tans, which is not initially obvious.

He’s also a total genius and understands that we are, essentially, aliens.

Let’s face it, Paris Hilton is a total basic bitch compared to Kurt.

Kurt Coleman ladies and gentleman, the end of society as we know it.

Thanks to Suzanne for the tip off, Buzzfeed for doing my job for me, and Kurt Coleman – because it’s been a slow news week.

CNN keeps the cultural sensitivity

Posted by: Deli Llama

April 16, 2014 in Politics, Random Leave a comment

You might be wondering if anyone ever watches CNN outside of the constraints of a hotel room where its either that or some angry French people shouting at each other on TV5.

Apparently, some people still do – because CNN is under fire for it’s culturally super sensitive and definitely respectful coverage of Wills & Kates’ meeting with Maori warriors.

CNN called the visit “The Royal Bummer” in reference to the traditional garb of the warriors who met Kate and Wills and then claimed that the “only one bumming” was the warrior with “his decorated buns exposed…is that any way to welcome a future king or queen?“. CNN went on to heckle Moari warriors for dancing like some sort of mentally ill emu-birds and finished the report by praising white leaders who “Go native”.

Really the highlight of the video has to be the editorializing of Jeannie Moos, the reporter behind it, who occasionally edits herself in as rubbing her nose against a camera lense before appearing later to quote a “perfect” Daily Mail headline. Jeannie Moos is drinking some crack which takes her to a world where such a thing exists.

She signs off the report “Genie Mos, CNN, NEWWWW YORK!” so she’s basically the Hyacinth Bucket of cable news.

Damn Photoshop, You Scary!

Posted by: Deli Llama

April 16, 2014 in Celebrities, Fashion Leave a comment

So Lady Gaga apparently is starring in a bunch of ads for Versace. I am really not all that interested in that, and part of that could be due to the sleep sedative I took 20 minutes ago kicking in, so stick with me and let’s see if we get through this together.

Gaga’s ads have been recently released, and now we are able to see the un-retouched shots from the shoot it’s become pretty apparent that China’s entire labour force were trained on Adobe Creative Cloud for this editorial. So much Photoshop was used on these Gaga pictures that Mariah Carey stopped for a second and could detect a shift in the force.

Jezebel highlighted the pictures which show Gaga looking like The Ghost of Chlorine Past who was shoved in some Versace trash-ass hooker dress to give her pancake titties, put in a gigantic wig and sent to some jonky lounge with a 14 year old who’s learning how to work a DSLR. Somehow these images through the WONDERS OF PHOTOSHOP go from this…

to this…

Like what I want to know about this shit is if you are going to have your model looking like she’s got more makeup on than Christina Aguilera has when she goes to bed at night, then what the hell is the point of not having them made up in the first place? Like, did they just tell Gaga – we want you to be a blank canvas we will paint upon like with clown makeup?

OMG YAASSS: The Naked Wine Thief

Posted by: Deli Llama

April 15, 2014 in Random Leave a comment

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the iconic diety-woman who must have been my mother in another life named Desiree Taylor. Desiree might not be a name you know right now, but you should, because she excelled at all areas of LIVING LIFFFEEEEEE when she entered a supermarket and stole two boxes of wine without any underwear on.

Desiree clearly Desiree-d a box of wine or two but obviously didn’t have any cash in her pockets to pay for it at the unless you count her meat wallet – so don’t hate on her! What was she supposed to do, go all the way back to Bai Ling house party for appropriate dressers to get some trousers? Bitch no! Desiree obviously wanted to get some 2pm Tuesday sun around her clam and figured as she was walking around the only thing that could make this perfect, breezy afternoon better would be a sophisticated glass of wine poured from a box.

Desiree aka your new fave was previously arrested long enough to give this glorious headshot and is still a DIVA-AT-LARGE and on a serious note could be dangerous if she mixed red with white. Desiree apparently has already been arrested for some other crimes, another example of how our society wont let people just be great.

Desiree, I know that face girl. I feel ya. I feel ya.

Zefron’s abs have offended everyone. Except me.

Posted by: Deli Llama

April 14, 2014 in Celebrities Leave a comment

Zefron’s abs have offended everyone. Except me.

So some shit called the MTV Movie Awards went down last night. The MTV Movie Awards are to Awards what Jamie-Lynn Spears is to country music(Read: Not taken seriously, no-one cares) – so It comes as no surprise that I didn’t even know that mess was on as I have much more important things to do, such as picking my belly button lint out.

What I do know about it though is that Jennifer Lawrence didnt turn up, as I wasn’t flooded with new GIFs of her doing arm farts and falling over in some fancy dresses this morning.

What I also know is that Zac Efron had his shirt ripped off by Rita Ora when he wont the illustrious and coveted title of Best Shirtless Performance (No, honestly) which worked out pretty well for Rita Ora since America still think she’s a denture fixing gel and getting Zac Efron shirtless immediately wins you like 50 life points. Zac came dressed in spray shade 43, Deep Mahogany – but is available to order in different shades.

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LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 13: Actor Zac Efron accepts the Best Shirtless Performance award for 'That Awkward Moment' onstage at the 2014 MTV Movie Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on April 13, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

Images: JustJared/Getty

A lot of ass-holes on the internet are taking that precious career defining moment away from Zefron by pointing out that if, for example, Emma Watson won “Best Bra Titty Show” for a movie and someone ripped HER shirt off to make her awkwardly parade around a stage half naked, that the world would be singing a different song, but don’t tell me that Zac’s specifically bronzed abs weren’t primed to make an appearance. JUST DON’T.

Before you feel bad for Zefron having his man-dignity stolen away, do keep in mind that he didn’t exactly run off the stage in shame, was interviewed with his shirt open afterwards, and also has starred in no less than EVERY SINGLE MOVIE HE’S EVER BEEN IN with at least one shirtless scene. Zac also declared on Twitter that if he won, he’d accept the award shirtless – because to Zac Efron, Best Shirtless Performance is the closest he’s ever coming to an Oscar.

Zac has a packed 2014 of starring shirtless in movies in a sure sign that yes, yes he has resigned himself to being a perfunctory actor who’s entire career will be based on his good looks and technically ‘hot bod’, and hey – his shirtless appearance at the MTV awards at least made everyone forget he essentially is up to some real shady shit.