Here’s a picture of Lina Nilson (20 something) and her boyfriend Roberto Cavalli (120 something) on a beach together in Miami
Lina must have a day to day struggle keeping her drooping tongue off of the exquisite curves she sees in front of her. The smell of crispy bacon, the gentile sagging of an aged moob, the sanitary towel stuck to a leg.
Lina is showing incredible amounts of self restraint on this beach for not jumping his bones then and there, which is for the best because at this stage there is no telling if jumping on Roberto Cavalli would critically endanger him.
Roberto is obviously using Lina for her fashion forwardness and love for elegant and well positioned tattoos, so I hope that Lina doesn’t get her heart broken by this sexy, gorgeous wolf of a man/stick of crisped bacon- because she is never going to find a lover as vigorous and beautiful as Roberto.
Once I saw an old Italian dude draped in gold jewelry walking down the street hand in hand with a boy made purely of muscles and skin-tight branded clothing who couldn’t have been any older than 20. They both decided it’d be a fun idea to stop in front of me whilst the old dude awkwardly held open the younger dudes mouth and tounge fucked him.
I am fairly certain one of his dentures fell into the younger mans mouth, but all I could do was gently give a slow hand clap in my head for that young muscle twinks dedication to the skank game of gold-digging. He was a grade-a skank who’s shame was a distant memory, drowning somewhere in a bath of money, gold watches and first class plane tickets.
That’s the day I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.
Pictures: Splash / Daily Mail.