Because music videos these days have to be longer than Lord of the Rings and because we’re sort of bored with seeing Katy Perry’s tits at this stage (but not really, please more tits Katy!) she decided to make a long ass video for her new song Birthday in which she essentially goes around ruining people’s birthday parties for shits and giggles as five different, equally awful characters.
Of course, that shit ended up being about as heeelarious as Madeleine Stowe doing stand-up.
In the video Katy freaks out a bunch of old people by pretending to die at their party with her saggy tits out, traumatizes a bunch of children by eating a mouse at their party and then ruins another kids party as a drunk clown.
Of course the whole thing culminates in a “BUT DON’T WORRY, IM KATY PERRY!!!!!!” moment at the end, which is pretty bold of her given that if she’d turned up to my kid’s birthday party and made her cry by eating a mouse in front of her for a music video, i’d be even more likely to punch her in the poon, because profiteering off of peoples misery and ruining their birthday and hoping that everyone is just kind of going to like you because you are famous is kind of a dick move Katy.
Well, at least it’s not Hello Kitty.